When your own four walls become your only salvation. the thought of going out the house creates anxiety and so much fear that the prospect of leading a normal life in the real world becomes a distant dream.
I remember feeling my attacker was always close. Even if this was far from the truth. Or a more realistic senario a new attacker could be lurking at any cornor.
And a question would ring in my ears. Could people really tell from my face that something was wong? As if, the rape changed my face and I wouldn’t beable to hide my broken heart from evryone. There is hope!
I was able to develope the fortitude to face my fears. Don’t get me wrong it was scary and hard, however, I developed my own plan. Modify your’s to fit you.
a support system is so important in healing no one should go through this alone! Find doctors family and friends. with my patient mother and father’s help, I would push my self first ride in the car with a fave mix tape that plays only music that makes me smile. after I was able to deal with that, I would try to spend a half hour someware I used to love. than go to the car if the fear is too much. Slowly the half hour turned into hour than more.
don’t be hard on your self this is a process that takes time. the next time go out ( with your support system) and stay out longer. keep in the car comfort items that calm and make you happy. Examples may be: Good mixed tape, pic’s of the one’s you love and admire, inspirational quotes, blankets, aroma tharapy oils, any tactic that you can come up with that can help if you feel grounded. Wash your face with cold water and face the situation again.
I promise if you keep facing your fears the monster of anxiety will go down. One step forward two steps back. However always forward.
it’s good to have a healthy fear of the world because you do have to protect one self but your fears should never stop you from enjoying Life.